Thursday, May 26, 2011

Blogger finally gave me permission to blog again. I think they had an extension on my page because when people said it was okay, I was still having error messages.  The good thing is that I got all my comments back. Yay!! Then I had issues with my internet but I guess I am having a good break now.

I had some bad news last week. When everyone was talking about Arnold "Sperminator" Schwarzenegger and how his wife found out he had a child with one of his domestic staff, I also found out one of my relations who has been married for close to 20 years is having an affair with a University student in Nigeria. He lives in the US with his family and according to the gist, he wants to bring the girl over. It came as a shock to everyone cos he is one of those people that you would think would never cheat *not that it is written on his forehead* Now the wife who I got very close to since we moved is contemplating divorce if the girl makes it to the US. The kids are so broken. Everyone is confused. My husband, Mr. O, says he was jazzed. But my opinion is that  if he didn't look for trouble in the form of being an "aristo", he wont be in this mess.

It is shocking to hear these days that a woman will say she will not have surgery for the safety of her life and her baby because she wants to deliver like the Hebrew women of old. People prefer vaginal delivery but when it comes to life and death issue, please cut me and let's all live. I lost a friend this past week after childbirth. She had blood pressure issues all through the pregnancy and i think the doctor suggested a C-section but she said she wanted to push. She had the baby then died an hour later. I don't know what the doctors did or didn't do. I remember when I was due to have my first baby and she was 2 weeks late. I admitted myself in the hospital and asked for them to do whatever needs to be done. I wanted to have a c-section but my doctor said i couldn't just decide that at that late stage. Mr. O had to sign the consent form before anything could be done. He was in Ghana then. So they induced labor. I was in labor but wasn't dilating. And for those who have experienced induced labor, we know how "sweet" it is. To cut a long story short, after being in labor for 2 days, Mr. O came and  I had a c-section. This my late friend told me i was lazy, i should have stuck it out and insisted on having a vaginal delivery. I jokingly told her she should do that when it is her turn; and now I don't feel good that she did just that and she is no more. Now there is a baby that will not see his biological mother cos she died after bringing him to this world. May her soul rest in peace. Amen.


  1. I had heard that women are ashamed to say they had c-section in naija. I thought it was a joke. Apparently not. Na wa o.

  2. wow! This is just all too sad.
    I don't know y some women insist on being unnecessarily stubborn.

    May she R.I.P

    And I don't even have words for the man who is thinking of bring that chick to the states. I am almost baffled at his level of stupidity. lol wonders shall never end sha.

  3. oH! am really sorry to hear these stories..what a pity...*sigh*..her soul rest in was suicidal...since she had been advised, she should had the Hebrew women?,,,,,, such brainwashing....were there c-sections back in those days?!

    About that your see how women are our own worst enemy?..she is a gold digger looking for a way to come over, after that she would dish him, but at the expense of the family...the wife should visit the embassy and see how she could be help... BY DENYING THE BITCH A VISA OR CANCELLING IT IF IT HAD BEEN GRANTED ALREADY OR STOPPED AT THE AIRPORT! mschew!

  4. Oh that is so sad about your friend. May her soul rest in peace. I have a colleague with similar issue and she died because she didn't want medical intervention. I know it's like a stigma in Naija to have C.S. But awareness needs to be created for the benefits of it and save unnecessary loss of lives. We're so culturally ignorant sometimes to our detriment.

    I am still always baffled by women who chase after other women's husbands with the intention to kick them out and take their place. And yet they would expect their own union to work out. If this woman is a believer she can pray and seek support from the church. There's nothing God cannot do. He can fight for her marriage because He joined them together.

    No comments on Arnold. lol

  5. So sad to hear about the death of your friend. I pray that child grows up with as much love and care as the mother would have given (Amen).

    For a lot of reasons, vaginal delivery is always the first choice (recovery period is faster, the pushing and expelling pressure is good for the baby, etc) but when the time comes, only God knows how the delivery will go down. I once had an emergency c-section and it drew a lot of remarks from Nigerian women. One lady said I was "lazy". People can be ignorant. As if it's a "vaginal delivery vs. c-section" competition.

  6. Firstly congrats on your safe delivery. May you enjoy the fruits of your loins

    Secondly may your friends soul RIP, sometimes we need to trust their medical personnel, afterall its their job and they are the experts not us,

    Thirdly that man is an idiot for opning his family to ridicule, his wife should push for an eye watering alimony so his eyes will be clearer.


  7. I didn't realize that c-sections were such a stigma in Nigeria until my Aunt had a c-section and her sisters asked her why she didn't try for natural delivery. WTF? I believe that whatever is best for the mother and child is best whether it be vaginal or cesearean. May your friends soul rest in peace and may her widower husband and her new baby be surrounded by people who will support them in this time of sorrow.

  8. Blessings.....
    Whatever is medically best? I had two children both natural vaginal births with no meds, my friends call me crazy, they say with western medicine they would take the epidural I was not into that but if they were danger and a C-section had to be done then I would.

    Sorry about your friend.

    Men who cheat do it because they can. He will get his comeuppance because once he brings her to the US she will leave him hanging, no young girl will stay with him.

  9. @Madam Sting: It is not a joke o. If you mention c. section in some quarters, they will tag you lazy.
    @ Dith: Thank you and Amen. Wonders shall not end at my relation who wants to throw away 20years and bring his chick. We are still waiting to see if that will happen.

  10. @ Ibhade: Thank you and Amen. As for my relation, his wife's first reaction was to go the Immigration to stop the girl's entry into th US. She is still looking at that option sha.
    @ MOH: She talked to the pastor of their church about it and the pastor asked to see him. He refused to go saying the wife is going about telling tales about him. Right now she has committed all to God in prayer. Though she is still considering going to immigration if the need arises. And we really need to create awareness that C.S has benefits. I am a living witness.

  11. @os: really my dear as if there is a competition between vaginal delivery and c.s; the most important thing is for the baby and mother to be alive and healthy. I got called lazy cos my kids were delivered via c.s, but it didnt really bother me cos I know i am not lazy
    @ M UiR: Thanks and Amen * though I had my baby a long time now* lol at the eye watering alimony to make his eyes clear.

  12. @ Amy:Thank you and Amen. The most important thing is the life of the mother and child and not that the baby came out via vagina or otherwise.
    @ Rhapsody B: He probably thinks she will stay with him when she gets here; she just might be using him to become a citizen

  13. my dear, i never understood it too, somehow, i even prefer CS, if it means, i would still be intact down there, but maybe when the time comes i'l change my mind.

    However, the most important thing at all times should be what is best for the mother and baby

  14. LOL @ being intact down there.