I hope everyone is enjoying the New Year. Though it started on a rough note for Nigerians with the removal of subsidy on gas, it also opened the people's eyes to the height of corruption displayed by the leaders. People came together to protest but it turned out that the corruption did not skip the labor tent. The subsidy was increased, people felt betrayed but people are moving on.
So far I haven't been doing badly with the goals I set for this month.#patting myself on the back# but it is just 20 days into the year so anything can still happen right? I have managed to keep my phone away from tea parties and I have been able to spend quality time with my family without distractions from my phone or T.V. I have also put in 'Me' time twice since the year started. As for sleep I have been doing 5 hrs straight and I think that is a good start. Exercise is a different thing. I haven't done much in that area except maybe dance to Flavour *does that count?*
After I had my first baby and I had to go back to work, I found it a bit difficult juggling everything. I had no help in the house, my husband was away on official assignment abroad, I had to wake up early everyday, drop my baby off and then after work pick her up from my mom. Though my mom wanted me to stay over at her place till I got a help or my husband got back, I guess I didn't want to impose and I was a tad stubborn those days* I wanted to be a supermom, rme* It got so bad that I had a discussion with my husband that if he would pay me half of what I was making working, I was going to stay at home and take care of the baby. Ofcourse he said no. Then I got a house help and my MIL came around so things eased up.
As a working mom, everyday I found it very difficult to leave my child to go to work. I am sure it was more difficult for me than her. I called home when I was free to bombard my MIL with silly questions like "was she playing well? is she smiling etc" I just felt like I was missing out. I felt guilt that my work kept me away and I didnt witness her first steps, The first time she ate eba, the first time she counted to 5, the first time she said "dadi," which by the way was her first word etc. I felt like I failed.
The past year, I have stayed home with my children, enjoyed all their milestones. And I am here wondering why I felt like I was missing in the first place. There are good days, days that i felt like this is how it was meant to be and then there are days I just wished I had a job outside the house. Staying at home with my children everyday is a constant test in patience, perseverance, humility...and might I add absence of privacy
I was watching a morning show last week and they were discussing the cold war between working moms and stay at home moms. Stay at home moms feel they are better than the working moms because they made a choice to stay at home and take care of their family and the working moms are viewed as selfish for working. One working mom shared a story of when she had an elbow pain and she had to go see the doctor. The nurse at the doctor's office first asked if she stayed home with the kids when she said no, the nurse went ahead to tell her that her elbow was bothering her because she is trying to do too much when all she should do is to stay home with her kids. Meanwhile the woman went in for her elbow o.
I smell envy and resentment of the working mom in most of the arguments cos she chose to have an identity outside of the home. I believe that as long as a mom is comfortable with whatever decision she has chosen, the children will do well either way. If as a working mom, you carry loads of guilt, always wishing you were home with your kids, you might not give your best at work and the time spent with your kids, you don't want to let them go. If as a stay at home mom you are resentful, bored and depressed after giving up your day job, your kids might not be as happy as they would be if they went to day care. Do what makes you happy and don't resent the person who has made a decision different from yours.
Image from Bing images
Image from Bing images
Would you be a working mom or a stay at home mom?