"The first five years of marriage are the most difficult years. You guys are just getting to know each other in the confines of marriage. So expect disagreements, frictions, power tussle, compromise etc". That was what one of the coordinators at the marriage preparatory classes said. She made it sound like once you cross the 5 year mark, you are probably safe from divorce. So part of the class was how to settle issues during the first years of marriage to keep you 'safe from divorce'.
When I heard this morning that Seal and his wife of 7 years confirmed that they can no longer stay together as man and wife, the first thing that came to my mind was that they didn't learn how to be safe from divorce since they have already crossed the 5 year mark. I joke. Jokes aside though, a couple who renew their vows and share new promises every year, have 4 children together and they seem like the power couple and role models to young Hollywood couples, made me ask, Is divorce trending? Is divorce the New Age marriage?
"We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other very much, but we have grown apart" Is love supposed to separate or unite?
Coming close to home, one of my friends says she cant stand her husband anymore. They are just housemates who have children together. They both understand that they are not feeling it any more but they are just staying together for the kids. One of my uncles after 18 years of marriage has decided that he cant bear his wife anymore cos she is too old and disorganized so he needs her out and a younger woman in, that is by the way sha.
Maybe we don't have a realistic view of marriage; Maybe we are blinded by what we see in the movies;Maybe we are not thoughtful, kind and appreciative of our spouse; Maybe we think marriage will just work itself out. But how can we do all it takes to make our career work, to learn as much as we can and not think that we have to work at our marriage? How can we spend time and money to develop ourselves and not think that we also need to spend time and * yes* money to develop a relationship that we claim to be important to us? How can we do all it takes to give our children the best and not think of giving our relationship the best?
I am just thinking here.