I hope you all are okay and enjoying the beautiful weather * it is beautiful right now, where I am and I am just soaking it all up*
Just last week, the Time Magazine had a cover that got people talking. It was the picture of a mother breastfeeding a 3 year old boy. Most people were really bothered about the cover. Some people commented on the look on the boy's face * these boobies belong to me hehehe*, some on the fact that he is no longer a baby and still nursing, others on the probability that the boy might be bullied as the boy who nursed forever when he goes to school and some on the cover caption," Are you mom enough?
We had our share of the cover debate in our home too. The lil' miss practically weaned herself off the breast. She never enjoyed taking breast milk from the bottle so when I resumed work after 4 months, my days breast feeding her were numbered. She gave me a month and afterwards, she just refused to be nursed. So daddy thought that was the way all kids roll. Welcome baby No. 2, at 1year he was still nursing full time. My husband couldn't understand it, he was like, shouldn't he have stopped nursing by now? After forced withdrawal, he was finally weaned at 15 months. So with the TIME cover, it sparked the conversations again.
I haven't read the TIME article yet, but what I gathered from TV is that the article was talking about Attachment Parenting as explained by Dr. Williams Sears who redefined the relationship between mom and baby, the author of The Baby Book and other parenting books. This form of parenting advocates bonding with baby before and after birth, breastfeeding baby as long as he/she wants it, sleeping with child on the same bed, wearing baby in a sling instead of carrying them in strollers etc.
Most of us have enjoyed derivatives of attached parenting * though it wasn't called that*. We were breastfed even to our toddler years * maybe I should speak for myself*, we co-slept with our moms and we were carried on the back wherever she went* more for convenience than the thought that they were practicing attached parenting* So this form of parenting is not new to us. So why are they making it an issue?*spoken like a Nigerian woman* Maybe TIME wants to score a double goal of pitching moms against one another and at the same time sell copies? Or maybe they just want to bring an awareness to this type of parenting. I guess I need to read the article to find out and then do a proper post.
Anyway, it is the desire of any parent that their child grows up to be strong, well adjusted, compassionate and independent. Whichever way they decide to parent be it by attachment or by tiger method, as far as this goal is achieved, they are happy.
So what do you think of this TIME cover?
Don't agree with the attachment theory..it is more convenient the way our mothers taught so. But not comfortable with feeding a 3year old who is already in pre-school....2 years maximum!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. What I think is that once the kid is old enough to say "mommy i want milk" and has teeth in his or her mouth, it is enough.
DeleteBlessings....
ReplyDeleteLong story short there are no rulebook on parenting and each woman from every culture, creed and class parent differently, what is normalized for some is taboo for others. What is wrong with a woman breast-feeding her child/toddler? So what if she decides to feed longer than 2 years? This is not a new phenomenon for me. I don't see what the big deal is. There are more important things to worry about in the world. Like homelessness, joblessness, the high levels of unemployment, people loosing their homes, the working poor that have to choose between medicine and maintaining housing, people are dying from curable diseases because they do not have insurance and cannot afford healthcare and we are what? Worried about some women who choose to breast-feed their 3/4 yr olds? Really? Pleasssssssssssse lets get our priority straight! Create jobs, afforable housing/healthcare, better standard of education for all our children and not just the rich. Lets focus on creating systems of equality that would allow peoples regardless of class, gender, ethnicity the opportunity to earn a decent standard of living and education and get off women's breasts!
Stay blessed.
rhapsody
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Thanks Rhapsody, I always love it when you comment and share your perspective. There are more important things to worry about than whether a woman decides to breastfeed her child to adulthood.
DeleteFor our own parents, it was more of culture and convinience...why break my hand when I can back the kid.
ReplyDeleteOyinbo people and there ways of making noise about little issues...Like Rhapsody B wrote, there are more important issues in life than this.
http://labyrinthsoflahrah.blogspot.com
It was for culture and convenience that our moms did it, I agree. These days we love to place labels on things too much
DeleteI shall tiger-mom my baby's cute mouth to cow milk latest by 6 months.
ReplyDeleteMy mom was too sick after my birth to breastfeed me. I havent turned out worse than my siblings by any stretch of the imagination nor do i love her less.
*kicking attachment theory to the curbs* just love your child. Children know who loves them..its not by breast milk.
There are definitely advantages to breastfeeding a baby but not breastfeeding a baby is not an indication that the child wont be well rounded.
Deletelol@ tiger-moming your baby's cute mouth
Being a mother is such an individual thing
ReplyDeleteBreast feeding is not the only way to feed a child
I rather have a relaxed, bottle feeding mother than a stressed breast feeding mum
Women can be so competitive about everything - weight, men, looks, being a mother etc etc
*sigh*
Thanks for your comment. I wonder at the competition as we are all different and our situations no matter how similar are still different
DeleteI have seen the article, the woman is even a blogger, its just one of those things to pitch women against one another, the title says it all, 'are you mom enough', so my answer is.. i wanted to breastfeed so badly but i made so little milk and tried every thing from modern drugs to palmwine and other old wives methods, so i could increase my milk supply..nothing worked, my kid weaned himself off by 7 months ( guess it wasn't worth his while), i cried so much during those early weeks because of commnts like this, i felt like a failure..but i am over it ..for the next child i am stocking up on cartons of formula abeg, as Ginger as said its not by breast milk and i am certainly mom enough cos i love my kid to bits!
ReplyDeleteIt must have being a trying period for you, wanting it so bad and not being able to give it coupled with all these snide comments.
DeleteYou go mama with the cartons of formula
LOL.. not a mum or father yet but I think every baby have their styles.
ReplyDelete- LDP
I totally agree every child has its own style
DeleteI don't mind breast feeding and i have nothing against anyone who does it but 3 years? Hia! Too much of anything is bad and this right here is an example.
ReplyDeleteDifferent strokes for different strokes but decisions like this don't affect just the mother and child, it affects them and how the world treats them. She can mouth off anyone but what about him? I teach pre-k (4s and 5s) so i know first hand how nasty kids are to one another and how teachers talk about parents or treat kids in certain ways because of stuff going on at home. And a child still breastfeeding at 3 is most definately going to end up bullied AND as a victim of pranks.
I am not a mother so i can't say much for why she would do it but as someone who works with young kids i can say with all certainty that this isn't a smart move
Doesn't sound like a good move to me too, maybe she is planning to home-school.
DeleteNa wa oo. I feel this is too much, kai. I also feel some mothers do it for selfish reasons, in order to stay trim
ReplyDeleteI didnt think about the looking trim aspect.
DeleteBreast feeding a three year old is not an issue worth a magazine article. As you stated, women have been doing it for centuries even. I can't stand how mothers who can't breastfeed for whatever reason are made to feel inadequate by things like this. It's so unnecessary. What next? Vaginal births versus cesarean? Not impressed.
ReplyDeleteBtw, I meant I'm not impressed by the magazine (not you).
DeleteMy sentiments exactly and for the record Vaginal births and C-sections have already been discussed.
Delete