Thursday, June 2, 2011

Gender Stereotypes

When a woman is pregnant, people always want to know what they are going to have. And you see people trying to guess the sex of the baby based on what the mother is going through. If the woman is beautiful, they will say it is a boy; if she isn't they say it is a girl cos the girl has taken all her beauty; If she is hairy on her legs, it is definitely a boy. Some people are so good at it, they can tell the sex from the way the mother is carrying the baby in her tummy. Some people will not divulge the sex of the baby till after birth when you probably see for yourself, while some people would not know the sex of the baby till after the baby is born. My MIL says if her kids are having boys she dreams of buying yam at the market. That was how she concluded I was having a boy when the technician who did my ultrasound said I was having a girl. Anyways this gist is by the way.

Sometime last week, there was a couple in the news who even after the birth of their baby have still not divulged the sex of baby. The only people who know the sex of the baby are the midwives and the other kids in the family. Everyone is keeping it a secret. I can just imagine what they go through trying to keep the sex of the baby a secret. The neighbors who saw her while she was pregnant will ask what she had and she will say a baby named Lagbaja. Of course what the neighbor wants to know is if it a boy or a girl.

I believe this couple have their reasons trying to raise their baby a gender neutral. They are trying in their own way to break the gender stereotypes we have in this world.  They are trying to fix the world in their own little corner.You cant fault them for their parenting style just because it is not the usual. In my own opinion  I thought they were just seeking attention.Their own 10minutes of fame and they got it.  Before the news no one knew them, probably no one knew they are "gender neutrals" and trying to raise their kids as such. And to think of  it, does anyone really care? No one cares about the sex of your baby but you.

Instead of trying to raise your child genderless, I think it is more important to bring up our children to be able to handle the stereotypes in the world.  Just like the dream of a race-less society remains just a dream, there will still be gender stereotypes.For example instead of teaching just  your girl child cooking  and home management, the boy should also be taught the same. I believe God made them boy and girl for a reason and we come with those differences. Where my daughter knows that she should pet her doll, my son is trying to pull the doll apart and then re-fix it.He doesn't know he is a boy, it just comes naturally.

Maybe I don't really know anything about being gender-less. I am a woman and I am not going to hide it * like I can right now* If people treat me  in certain ways because of my sex, I learn to deal with it. My sex is one of the things that make me who I am . If sex wasn't important why do trans-gender go through so much to choose one?

BTW wonders shall never cease in this obodo. I saw a boy who was dressed in a sun dress last week too. I thought that was weird and a bit too much. Ah han!


  1. Gender neutral? This is my first time of hearing such words..i wonder how long they can keep it...GOD who created us, made us uniquely different...i really dunno what to make of this. I am a female and accepted it as that..and SOME things come naturally.

  2. Totally agree with Ibhade re'I wonder how long they can keep it'
    I really dont know why people complicate stuff like this.
    Granted not all boys will like sports and not all girls will like dolls ...BUT a child should know that they are either a boy or a girl.
    As for the parents concerned, dem don chop beleful that's why.
    If they are worried about where the next meal is coming from will they have time for such frivolities?

  3. Gender neutral? in the end breeze go blow and fowl yansh go open....the sex of a child cannot be hidden for long

  4. I've never heard of "gender neutral" neither...I really don't get the point...I agree with you, parents should train their children up in a well-rounded manner...but the sex of a person is also apart of their identity

  5. .......... I guess I get what the parents are trying to do, but I don't need they should use the poor child as an experiment to change the world. Imagine when the child starts middle school, the psychological trauma.

  6. gender neutral / gender-less children? what on earth is that? God created us male and female for a reason, and even though societal stereotypes may exist, I think it is way more important to teach our children to take pride in who they are and what they can achieve, rather than striving for gender neutrality. humph!

    This is my first time on your blog btw Okeoghene...nice post.

  7. We don't have to make our kids genderless,what we need do is promote gender equality in that sense.

  8. @ Ibhade: That was the first time I was hearing it too. If God wanted us sexless maybe He would made us that way abi?
    @N IL: My sentiments exactly. They are not thinking of the next meal, if they were.....
    @ Sisi Yemi: Fowl yansh go open o. I wonder what they will do then? They will say dem no hide am again

  9. @ Blessing: I totally agree that the sex of a child is part of his/her identity. Why take that out?
    @ 9ja foodie: I see what they are trying to do too. They could approach it in a different way instead of going genderless.Or like i said, maybe I havent totally grasped the concept.

  10. @ JustDoyin: Thanks for stopping by and dropping a line. I agree with you, it is more important for the child to learn to achieve irrespective of their sex.
    @ 9-great: Thanks. Maybe that is their own way of gender equality.