Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Kids before Spouse?


I know, I know, Today is not Monday. I just wanted to put it out there that I just love Mondays. Or maybe I should rephrase that and say, I love Mondays till 3pm. Monday is my chill day. The day I spend doing something for me, which most times, is sleeping in after everyone leaves the house, or curling to read my book, having a shower or sometimes on occasion soaking in a bath in peace with no child coming to wait for me or ask if I am okay because I have stayed in there too long. For 6 hours, I am Okeoghene and not Mommy and this gives me a high and keeps me sane for the week.

Hope you guys had a great weekend.

This past weekend while visiting with friends we got into the discussion of which relationship comes first in the home, the one you have with your partner or the one you have with your kids. Everyone agreed that both relationships are important but I noticed that more women chose the kids instead of their spouse. Their argument was that children are being molded and need more attention than their husbands and of course the man will understand , because he should also be giving the same attention to the child; I was shocked when someone said all men want is sex  and that doesn't last  long anyways.

For me, yes children are important but  what you have with your spouse ranks higher.  As a parent I am supposed to be a model to my  children. The home is the first place where the child experiences what a family should look like. Children are visual sponges, they are seeing and they are absorbing. They are also testing boundaries and they want everything and everyone to revolve around them. However I choose to handle the relationship I  have with my spouse  affects our kids. I might think I am doing so much for my kids, taking care of their needs and them, but there is nothing like being a good example of what a strong marriage should look like; what team work should look like, what showing love, respect and affection should look like. Both of us, our union, should teach them this.

Keeping my husband in the  "understanding-pot" on the back burner will not make him happy. He will feel neglected. He is not just my room mate but my partner and my lover. Making my spouse a priority teaches my children respect of self and others. I don't want my child growing up  obnoxious, thinking  he  is the sun and everyone should revolve around him. It is my job to teach him and what better way than for him to see it at home?

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Long time no post


 Happy November!!!

I really need to do better.

 Disclaimer here, not belittling the lesson behind the prodigal son, but sometimes these past few weeks, I could totally relate with the dude on going back to his father after his adventures. I had a hard time putting up a post because I didn't know  how to write my comeback post. What would I say? Should I do a post - post or I should I just say hi and come back with a post? Would anybody still be here to  read the post if I do? Am I  disciplined enough to blog consistently? I had so many questions and doubts dancing in my head.  I love to blog and I actually miss it when I don't. I miss the family here and all the beautiful connections that were budding before my inconsistency killed them.

Anyways I am back and I am going to make out time to blog this time. It won't just go into my "when I am free"folder, but will be in my "just do it " folder.

Hope everyone is doing ok?

PS: Can you believe it is 50 days to 2015?