Domestic Violence

Grandma Procrastination was really listening when I said I was going to post something the very next day and she made sure I didn't * that's me passing the blame for something i should have done that I didn't do.* Emotional affairs still coming up but I would like to talk about domestic violence today.

Tega did a registry wedding with her boyfriend, Ogagan, so she would be posted to Lagos state for her NYSC. So everyone was waiting for them to officially wed, maybe traditional or church later where they would invite people and be known as a married couple. Three years after NYSC, no wedding . So people, started asking Tega what the problem was; did she have a change of mind? She said everything was fine. They will do it one day. Two years after that, they still are not married, if you ask Ogagan, he will say he is ready; Tega says Ogagan wants to finish his MBA first before they settle down. Really it is nobodys business if they decide to do the traditional or whatever people want them to do, but you know people now. They were always asking. Some days Tega comes to work with a bruises on her body and she blames it on okada accidents. Nobody read anything to it cos she seemed happy and Ogagan also seemed to be the doting boyfriend/husband. No one knew that she was a punching bag at night. No one knew that Ogagan would go through her phone for text messages or calls from guys that he doesn't know and then make sure she explains to his satisfaction *which she doesnt do most times and he has already made up his mind to act the beast* Everyone heard about that bank staff whose husband butchered her and even Tega said the girl should have left before it got that bad.

People handle challenges in different ways. Some people write about it, Some people just plain write about anything, some people might have a confidante who they talk to. Tega got very close to one guy at work and she told him what she was going through. She enjoyed his company and though they didnt have any physical intimacy, they shared sexual fantasies. The guy wants her to leave Ogagan to save her life. She is scared cos she thinks Ogagan will fulfill his threat and haunt her if she dares leave him. Her family says she should stick it out cos maybe she is the cause of the beatings and you know men would always be men *SMH*

Now I ask, is it worth it marrying someone just to beat the NYSC system and remain in a particular state? Why would a woman stay with a man who thinks he is Sugar Ray and can box her at anytime? *I remember a friend I had once who in mirth will hit me on the back, though it wasn't painful o, I didn't wait to see what he would do if he is upset.* Why would society permit men to be crude all in the name that men will be men? Only men without self control and discipline hit women. What do you guys think?