Let's play tag.....You are IT

Hi all,

Thanks DHK for tagging me in the TAG 11. * I am almost collapsing. You see, Gmama procastinator is on vacation and I don't intend for her to come back, I am taking my life back and staying on top* Now to the rules of this game:

** Post rules
** Post 11 random things about yourself
** Answer questions posted by the person who tagged you
**Create 11 questions and tag 11 people to answer your questions
**Notify those tagged of the game
** Notify the person who tagged you after you have answered the questions
** No tag backs

Now to the game

11 random things about myself

1. I am Urhobo by birth (from the south)

2. I schooled in the North( Secondary sch), West (University) and served in the East (NYSC). That makes me a well rounded Nigerian

3. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of having a large family of at least 10 children.... but I grew up

4. I love moi-moi

5. I rarely write in shorthand that is why I rarely tweet * that is the story I am standing by*

6. I love dancing silly

7. I prefer snakes and ladder to ludo

8. I never get tired of speaking about child abuse.

9. I love Indian movies

10. I love music

11. Homeschooling on my mind but I don't think I am disciplined enough.

Now to DHK's questions:


1. What hairstyle are you currently rocking?- Box braids

2. How long did you spend in Primary school? 6 years

3. What is your naughtiest moment? Kissing my husband in public

4.How do you express anger? I handle anger depending on how vexed I am. I could write, go for a walk or a run, scream. But once I am calm, I like to talk about it.

5. What would you spend your last penny on? I dont know, maybe food

6. When was the last time you treated yourself to a niceeeeeeeee warm fod? This morning

7. Who was the last person you said " I love you " to? My son

8. What is your favorite take away dish? Hmmmm, no favorites.

9. How do you eat in public, spoon, knife, fork or hands, quiet, slow, fast etc? Depends on what I am eating. Rice, moi-moi- spoon; pasta- fork; swallow- fingers. I eat quietly

10. Do you polish your shoes? No, not in a lonnnnnnng while

11. What are your thoughts on after life? There is life after this one.

Now to my own questions
1. What is your middle name?
2. Favorite food?
3. Favorite board game?
4. Favorite Nigerian musician?
5. Education or fame?
6. What grinds your gears?
7. Books or movies?
8. Favorite movie
9. Earth, Wind, Water or Fire? Which describes you?
10. Legacy? What would you like to be remembered for?
11. If you are not you, who would you like to be?

You are it. I  tag:


1. @moi frequency
2. A pencil and a heart
3. @9ja great
4. another shot
5. Atary
6. Blessing's outlet
7. Relentless Builder
8. P.E.T projects
9. Ginger's blog
10. Fluffycutething
11.Lady Ngo


Thank you

Liebster Award

Hey people,

This is another award with a German title. It means 'Beloved, Favorite, Dearest. This award is for bloggers who inspire you but who also have less than 200 followers. My thanks go to Mike and DHK for giving me this award. Thanks for all the love guys. God bless you.

The terms for accepting this award

**Link back to the person who gave you the award and thank them

Thank you very Mike and DHK for this award

** Post the award to your blog

Check

** Give the award to 5 bloggers you appreciate and value (it is a great way to get the words out there about other blogs)

I nominate the following bloggers:

Life Experiences
Lady Ngo
Joy of my world
Inyamu's eldorado
Atary

** Leave a comment on the 5 blogs to alert them on the award.

Thank you

Versatile Blogger Award

Hi all,


Happy new month*this is just the 7th day so I guess the month is still new*. I hope you all are doing good and making the best of what life is throwing your way. I am trying to do the same and my prayer everyday is not to miss the reason for this time. I dont want to enjoy it so much and forget the lessons or to lament and complain so much and forget that it is supposed to be a learning point. 


Anyway, this is the award season and I got a couple. Thank you to all the beautiful people who think I am deserving. First off, I will be accepting the Versatile blogger award that was given to me a long time ago by Rhapsody. I got the notice for this award and entered a funk. *covering face in shame*






Thank you very much Rhapsody for this award. Though it is coming very late, better late than never. I really appreciate it. Thank you.


The condition for this award is:


  **Link back to the person who gave the award RHAPSODY PHOENIX
  **Share 7 things about yourself


  1.  I read at least 2 books at a time not because I am a fast reader but cos I always  love to read a bit of romance while I read something else.


2. I  am currently reading the Secret Life of Baba Segi's wives and The naked truth


3. I cannot form a bedtime story that will make any sense, I prefer to read from a book most times


4. I just love to photograph my kids


5. I just might have a flower garden sometime in the future


6. I am learning how to sew


7. I love music.


Pass on the award to other bloggers you find interesting and inform them about the award: Since I have already 'carried last' in this regard and I think most people have already accepted and done this award, I pass on this award to anyone who hasnt already done it.


Thank you.

Antonyms of a Mirage

Hi all,

You know how when something good happens, you never tire of letting people know that you are a member of that family where that achievement occurred.? That was how I felt when I heard that  Atilola's book which we have been patiently waiting for and which she promised would be out in a jiffy, was finally out. No doubt the book will make a good read. Check out this excerpt below:

A preview from ‘In My Pocket’

‘Goshe – A short form of Shokolokobangoshe

Scenario 2

Mummy Bobo: Olowo ori mi (owner of my head), how was that favourite food of yours that I made for you? I am sure you enjoyed it. I have come to tell you about Bobo, your son. He is about to write his SSCE exams. The other day, I heard my senior wife bragging to her cousin that kola, her son, made all his papers two years ago because he is hardworking and brilliant. She then said she is sure Bobo will do the opposite and fail woefully. Olowo ori mi, please, don't let my enemies laugh at me. I know you can help me get the exam questions on the eve of every exam paper. This is the only way Bobo will be able to prove her wrong and shut her mouth forever. Daddy Bobo, you always say you love me more than my senior wife and if you really mean that, you will not let her have the last laugh over me.

Chief Goshe: Woman! Woman!! Woman!!! I have always warned you about this Bobo of a boy, but you will never listen to me. You spoil him too much, I hope he won't be the source of your downfall in future. Anyway, I will give you what you request, after which he will go to the UK to start his foundation course. You better warn your son to buckle up now, because there is no way I will fly over to meet David Cameron to organize exam papers by the time he gets to the UK. A word is enough for the wise. For now, the exam questions are not a problem. I have the education sector IN MY POCKET!

Scenario 3

Oloyinbo: (Getting up from his two minutes prostration, which Chief Goshe acknowledged by massaging his head with the sole of his left foot, he then starts hailing loudly) Baba Goshe, Baba mi, you will live long, your enemies will not see their children. Anyone that says it will not be well with you, it won't be well with them too.
Baba mi, the time has come. I need your help seriously. It’s time for the councillor election for the local constituencies. As I told you last year, I intend to contest and since I have adopted you as my political father, who else will I run to but you? Baba Goshe, don't worry about my credentials. The minimum requirement is the SSCE result and I have already sorted that out with some boys and now have my results. All I need now is your backing and support. Baba mi, I am in your hand now o.

Chief Goshe: Oloyinbo, my nephew, see your mango head like that of my father. You want to run for councillor, hmm? I thought you were joking when you mentioned it last year. I hope you know the implications of what you are doing? The politics of our time is not for the lily-livered at all. You have to be on your toes at all times. Be ready to make friends and enemies, be ready to do anything to protect your political career and even your life from political detractors. It’s a dog eat dog world and make sure you are ready for all the consequences. You should have just accepted the business I offered to set up for you, but you youths of nowadays have been bitten by the get-rich-quick bug. Since you insist, I will help you. I will take you to a meeting tomorrow, where you will meet some powerful people. But know this one thing, you must not, in turn, bite the fingers of these powerful people, including mine, when you win. You will have to dance to their tunes. Otherwise, the ground will have no choice but to reject you.
After tomorrow, your victory is a done deal. Even if you don't contest, you have won! It’s a done deal, I have the electoral system IN MY POCKET!

Scenario 4
Sisi Peperempe: (After a steamy sex session) Honey boy, cookie crumble, sweetie, darling, sugar! I need your assistance o. You remember my youngest brother, Dodoyo, he's in Anti-graft commission’s custody. He was arrested last week
(Kissing his fat filled pot belly). They said he posed as a minister and defrauded some companies. You know the story of my family and how Dodoyo and I had to see ourselves through life by all means possible. He's the only family I have. We have gone through so much and he doesn't deserve jail time or to lose all he has worked for. (Pouting her lips, with permanent red lipstick on) Baby boo, you must help Dodoyo or else ehn...

Chief Goshe: Sisi Peperempe! C'mon, rest your little head. Why are you worrying yourself over nothing? I am disappointed in the way you keep worrying and emphasizing on this issue. After the three years of us playing this 'love game', you still worry about these little things. Before you start your rants again, don't worry I forgive you. I guarantee you that it is settled. Give me a maximum of two days, Dodoyo will get out of custody and all his frozen assets will be returned. Plus the anti-graft commission, plus the person that created the anti-graft commission, I have them all IN MY POCKET!

Scenario 5

Mr. Sinwonje: (Smacking his stomach during a meal of Suya and bottles of Lager beer at a popular elite club in Abuja) Chief Goshe, what are you going to do about this latest development now? I think Mr. President is serious about this power thing this time around o. If those Japanese people dare sign that contract of the electricity overhaul in this country, that line of business is over for me o, and you know that means you will also lose your regular cut. Hmm, Goshe, this is not good news at all. That is my major income-generating business and I use it to keep body and soul, Princess and Priscilla together. Imagine that this whole country, Nigeria, will not need generators or diesels to make their life easier. This is serious disaster. I will do anything to make it fail….

I cant wait to read the book myself. I just got it but decided to put up this post before I get too carried away and Gmama Procastination sets in. The book is available now on amazon both the kindle and paperback  and I daresay it is affordable. To purchase on amazon  : <iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=atilolablogsp-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B007V5OKZ8&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe>

* Read in Nollywood advert voice* GO GRAB YOUR COPY NOW!!!!!

Hi all,

Can you believe it that is Mid-April already? It seemed like it was just last week that we were sending good wishes for the New Year and now it is April. Time sure is flying. Hope y'all are doing good. I am doing fine too and very thankful to God for the journey so far.

Just the other day someone sent me a broadcast message about warning girl children. I would have put up the message here but I cant lay my hands on it right now. I am sure some of you would have received it too as I got a couple of it that week. A summary of the message was about warning girl children not to allow any body to carry them including uncles, not to allow anyone refer to them as 'my wife', asking about the kind of activities they did when they go on play-date etc. It was quite a list. I agreed with some of the things mentioned and disagreed with some but generally it was like a warning bell to take charge and be a part of our daughter's growing up process. Especially to shield them from abuse.

You know how after reading something that hits home, you start getting paranoid when seemingly innocent things happen? That happened to me. We have this friend who comes around to the house sometimes. My kids love to play with him and he is so good with kids he gives them so many laughs. I never read anything to it before. The day after getting this long list of warning, this guy came around for a very short visit. After throwing the kids up, tickling them etc he was on his out. In a bid to shake my 3 year old daughter goodbye, he tickled her palm. She laughed and said "that tickles". Immediately i heard that, my antennae was on alert. I didn't know what he did, so I asked her what tickled. She said "uncle tickled my palm". Ehn, my eyes turned pink. You see where I come from when a man tickles a woman on the palm, it means he is interested in the woman sexually. I wouldn't have read any meaning into it cos the man in question is a young friend, isn't even Nigerian and I am not sure  that gesture is universal. In my panic, I told my daughter it wasn't nice that uncle tickled her palm, the next time he does it she should tell him not to tickle her palm cos mommy said so and then tell me.

My husband felt I was a bit paranoid, but I am thinking it is better to be paranoid than sorry. Most sexual child abuse is performed by someone known to the child and the child just suffers in silence. Growing up, someone very close to me was abused at 5 years old by someone trusted by her family. The girl just withdrew to herself. Only God knows how that has affected her life now.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.and Child Abuse Prevention Month. Many people are assaulted sexually;men, women, teens and even young children. The time when we say it is a taboo to talk about such things is long gone. It is time to show awareness and talk about it. Let people know that it is wrong and victims to know that they are not alone. In our own way we should help in trying to bring an end to this trend.

Good to be back

Hi people,

It sure has been a while I came around these parts. With crashed computer system, moving house and waiting to get connected back to the internet, it feels good to be back. Guess I missed some interesting stories while I was away but nothing spoil.

Happy Easter to you all. May the joy of the risen Christ always remain with us.

 

Marriage and finances

Hi all,

I heard a story today I would like to share with you. There is this couple, the husband was an accountant with an accounting firm while the wife is a confidential secretary with one of the banks. Some years after their marriage the husband lost his job and getting another job was very difficult so he decided to venture into business. There was no head to that either. Since the husband lost his job, at the end of the month, the wife gives her salary to the him and he will decide how the money will be spent.

Last month, the wife feeling the need to upgrade her wardrobe bought a couple of outfits and shoes before giving the husband what was left. The husband was furious, he refused to collect the money  and he told her she doesn't have the right to spend the money. He hit her then told her he is the one to decide if she needs new clothes or shoes. Shoes and clothes are not their priority cos they need to save up to start another business. The husband insisted she must apologize for spending the money. The wife refused to apologize. She called one of her uncles and he said she must apologize since the husband was one of the people who helped to pay her school fees in higher institution. The battle is on.

When I heard this story, these thoughts came to my mind :

1. As a third party, you never can tell with a married couple. The story might not even be the full story and facts might be distorted

2. Communication between couples is very important. During courtship, people spend little or no time on talking about situations such as if a spouse loses a job, finances, family budgets etc. We always assume that things will always be rosy without challenges. We think the most challenging is  planning the wedding. That, in real life is not the case, most times.

3. I don't know why she chose to agree to give all her salary to her husband; but since she did, she should have told him that she needed new clothes and shoes for work instead of going behind his back to buy them. She must have her own reasons for doing that, maybe she already asked/ told him and he said it wasn't important because he had a project he was planning for. And now that she did it, he sees it as disrespect.

4.I have zero tolerance for men who hit women. Instead of hitting her, a simple talk on priorities would have sufficed. What man would even tell his wife to give all her salary for his own project and house-keep. Isn't he supposed to be the provider and the wife his help-mate?  The man has wronged his wife and if family *cos it will get to family to settle* say the wife should apologize, the husband must also apologize to the wife. He vowed to love and protect her, but who will protect her from him now that he has turned to Mohammed Ali.

It is very important as couples and those of us planning to get married to communicate and most importantly make plans for when these kind of challenges come up.It is also important to be in agreement on steps to take on how you handle finances. Some men are the sole providers and the woman's money is her money. Some people decide to have a joint account or pool of funds and they agree on what each partner will contribute to the pool. Some couples have a budget and they pool both salaries.* Some people won't like this cos they don't want their partner to know what they earn.* Explore all options and see what will work for you. Proper handling of finances is important in committed relationships.

Did the woman in the story do wrong? Was the husband right? How do you plan to handle finances in your home?