Monday, November 21, 2011

Mom, no hitting

Hi guys, it has been a while I wrote something on here. Thanks to @9ja-great and Che who sent me birthday wishes on my day. My birthday had one of the coolest dates this year 111111. Another cool date is 91011 and another cool date is 20112011. Why am I even talking about dates sef? I hope everyone is doing well. For those facing any kind of challenge, be calm, this too shall pass.

I remember growing up and whenever anyone be it sisters or friends beat me, and I came back crying, my folks always asked why I was crying instead of beating my own back. Ofcourse most times, scratch that, I never beat my own back. When it got too much I just stayed out of the way of anyone I felt might use their fist on me. I didn't think my folks did any wrong by saying what they did, cos that was the time.

Now I have kids and we have a "no-hitting" rule at our house. You don't hit people and if you are hit, you say no hitting and report whoever hit to mom or dad. It has worked so far. Don't get me wrong, they still hit one another but they know it is wrong. One day, I had had enough of the reports of "mom, brume hit me", "mom K hit me". So when I heard another report, I just told my daughter, "go hit your own back". She told me No. No hitting, hitting is bad. I was taken aback cos a part of me felt like I was raising kids who only use their words and not their fist. I was worried that people might take them for granted and want to bully them.*just like I was bullied*. I was happy though that they were listening and trying to practise whatever I teach them. My fear now is that people might call them weaklings. Sometimes our people respect aggressiveness. My MIL can not stop regaling tales of how young Onos*the hubs* used to show people that offended him. What do you guys think? Should children be thought how to fight and defend themselves instead.My kids are under 4years, am I just being a worry wart?

Have a great day.

17 comments:

  1. I think 4 is too young to worry about all that, I agree with your no hitting basics. As they grow older, you can put them in physical classes that ensure their body is strong and they can defend themselves even as they know violence is not the first option. Parenting is not easy, well done.

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  2. Oh, you had that special date! jealous much! Happy Belated Birthday! I agree with Myne on this. When they're older they can attend self-defense classes...

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  3. hmmmnn...........i think i like the no hitting rule. like myne said, they are still too young to worry about defending themselves

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  4. Your folks sound like mine, and the truth is that philosophy changed me from a small skinny girl who was always being bullied to someone who could stand up for herself,and i discovered that bullies are actually cowards. But your kids are still young and that is fine for now..but i do not intend to let my kids be bullied by other people they has to be a balance so they can learn to defend themselves.so we will just have to find a rule that works ..i like Myne's suggestion though..me and hubs have already agreed, we will be enrolling my son in taekwando classes as soon as he is five...hope you find what works for you ..cheers

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  5. your "no-hitting" rule rocks!

    bydway, as they grow older, they'll learn. i was skinny but i had a smart mouth and ppl tend to bliv smart mouth=strong. worked well for me.

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  6. I like the *no-hitting* rule, but at the same time, I understand your worry about them being bullied. I like Jemima's suggestion of enrolling them in Taekwando classes. I & my siblings all attended Karate classes while we were growing up. I don't know if the intent of my parents was to equip us to be able to defend ourselves, but it was so much fun. I still remember some of the moves and shouts sef. (No try me o) :-D. And just like most people have said, as they grow older, they will learn.

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  7. Don't worry dear,i've come to realize they learn when the time is right.However,a time would come too when you have to tell them it's ok to hit because really it is sometimes.

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  8. Happy Belated Birthday!!!

    No hitting sounds good to me!

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  9. I'd say don't worry about it yet! Some of these things are instinctive..they will learn.
    I was sort of brought up with th eno hitting rule (d only person who did the hitting was Ma Petrillio *My mum*) but I'd be damned if I came back home crying cos someone my age or younger hit my outside....#noway#

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  10. Happy belated birthday. I know it's so late lol. Your kids are still very young. Let enjoy this stage of their life. I can tell you are a great mum :-)

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  11. I'm hoping to benefit from this discourse too, particularly because my boys are under 4 too!! Though by some stroke of luck they are very quick to slap or bite anyone who does same to them!!

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  12. hmm..i have come to realise in this parenting journey there is grace for each step and we shouldnt worry (even though we do). it will come to you and them wat to do..

    karate classes isn't a bad idea.. now filing away in my notes.

    first time here.

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  13. I think you are teaching your kids a good principle - not to hit back. That attitude could save them from being involved in fights, brawls and the likes. Besides its scriptural.

    There will always be bullies but we need to impart some wisdom into our kids on how to handle bullies. And I know when you think well round it, you'll come up with something - maybe its to avoid the bully when you see him coming or some other smart move.

    The self-defense class when they are older is a good idea. They could train to shield attacks without fighting back.

    Like others said...you're a parent and the grace is there for you to know what to do with time.

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  14. Aww belated birthday greetings.

    Yea but I think it'd be safe to also work a lot on their self esteem and make them understand that they should never be intimidated by anyone, I'm sure they'll try to find a balance.

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  15. What a blessed thing to teach kids. o hitting! like seriously, i dont think there ever is a time when someone should fight back. I have never fought..wait strike that..I attempted fighting with this guy when i was 7-8 yrs. I had a shaky tooth. he hit me in the mouth and my shaky tooth fell out. Mark 1 Ginger 0. I NEVER TRIED FIGHTING AGAIN. Rather i learnt how to payback in more tactical ways :p

    So you were one of the 11/11/11 pple. Happy Birthday.. belated though it is. Hope your day was as special as the date :)

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  16. "No hitting each other" is our Rule #3 at home; along with a whole bunch of others that we have written & stuck up on the fridge for them. I absolutely think the idea of a self-defense class is great. Give them a little while though to grow up since yours are under 4. They might not really take to it now or be interested in it ever again after that if they hated the experience. Plus they might be a bit too young to understand the mental stuff they teach abt self-defense.

    My 6 year old the other day prayed about bullies (which we later had a conversation about) and it got me thinking maybe now's the time to introduce her to self-defense classes, especially for the non-violent lessons it teaches about standing up for one-self.

    Oh, and a happy belated birthday.

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  17. When you hear "girls develop faster", it doesn't include issues like potty training/breast feeding [those are up to you]. Females transit faster in the physical/sexual stages of development than males. E.g females arrive earlier in the puberty stage of development than their male counterpart. The age in which they arrive at puberty have been reducing on average yearly. PROVEN.

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