Teenage Pregnancy

 Hi people, 

Yesterday I was watching a program on T.V,they were talking about the new ads released by New York City on teen pregnancy prevention. Everyone was just going on and on about how harsh and inappropriate the adverts were and and how it wasn't going to solve the teen pregnancy issue rather it will just stigmatize teens, how everyone knew someone who had experience with teen pregnancy and all the kids don't turn out bad. It was quite a long rant and all through I was just shaking my head and thinking of the "sex talk" when I was a teenager and how our cultures are so different. My mom left me in fear and trembling that I was sure she had her ways of knowing when those random boys blocking me at the junction will not let me go on my errands in peace. The fear of stigmatization, kept me in the straight and narrow at the beginning.

 



Over here we are quick to talk about the rights of a child, how everyone has a right to live how they want, but is it really the right of a child to have a child?  Shouldn't a child be able to live their young lives free of adult responsibilities? We live in a world of reality T.V and I bet most people have seen the  MTV series "16 and Pregnant" *and maybe they think that life is real or that they will also make it to the show*, so seeing the young pregnant girl is fast becoming a fixture. Sometimes when I even see these kids with their kids, they seem prideful, like they have achieved something. Of course they have achieved something; maybe   my contact lens are deceiving me, but I don't wear contacts.

I know it is my mother's voice, which by the way is sometimes the voice of my conscience, that  is saying teenagers don't have any business having sex. Most of them don't even know themselves yet,  they are still having ping pongs of emotions and truckloads of hormones that they know nothing about. They shouldn't have to think of what baby will eat or how to get a second job to meet up with child support.  I remember  one time after my second baby, I just resumed back at work. I got back from work so tired and I just wanted to crash and forget my responsibilities for a few hours. My mom gave me 30 minutes then woke me up saying " You are a mom now, you have babies who are looking up to you for care, you need to get up and do right by them". At that point I felt she was harsh and she could have just helped me care for my children one more day, but that was the push I needed.  Motherhood dawned on me. Even now at my age it overwhelms me sometimes, I wonder how a teenager is coping.

Yes, these adverts might be offensive or harsh and not really tackling the problems of teenage pregnancy at its roots but  maybe it will get us talking about it and educate young girls that it is a wrong move.* Imagine your children thinking these thoughts and desist* Teenagers should be given reproductive and sexual education and the earlier we start talking to our children even before they become teenagers, the better for us.

 


 
 What do you guys think? Are the adverts for this campaign too harsh?

Skin Colors? Black History Month

I can do better. I choose to do better.

When is the right time to do the race/ skin  talk with your child? Should you even do the race/ skin talk with your child? I naively assumed that I still had a window, my children are still young and probably not seeing in skin colors. Then came Doc. Mcstuffins. So I was asking my daughter why she loved the show. She said " Doc is a girl, she made her toys and her friends toys feel better and because she is brown". I was like "brown?" She said" yes, brown like me" And I saw that window being blown by the wind. I wasn't sure if she was leaning more to those who looked more like her just because. Is there a science about this? At first I didn't know what to say. Not one to let a learning opportunity slip by, I asked so "what other kind of people do you see apart from brown people?" She said "the not-so brown and those that look like Miss C "*Miss C is her teacher and she is white* I was like "OK" and  didn't know whether to launch into the full race talk. I just told her Ms C is white and she is not brown but black. Which led to an argument on colors. I managed to let her know that irrespective of the skin color, there are only two kinds of people: good and bad. I didn't know how much to say to a preschooler.

I wouldn't like to fuel the evil tweet from the Onion about an innocent black girl, all I can say is that irrespective of their skin color, they are part of the bad people.

February is black history month  and we managed to join the activities at the community college to learn about the history of the black people in the area where we now call home. It was fun learning something new and I felt shame that my knowledge of great Nigerians is limited and mostly forgotten. The stories fresh in my head are those of the "bad" ones. I need to refresh myself on the stories of the good people.

How are you guys doing?

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Gossip can be good for you

I am back!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!

It wasn't like I ever left. I come up here almost everyday * apart from weekends*, I go through my blog list. Enjoy all the beautiful stories, juicy gists and yummy food posts * I see you, Myne*, and sometimes I even get to the comment sections. After all that work, posting something up here is like a chore. I always get discouraged thinking thoughts I shouldn't even be thinking. Anyways, today I overcame that voice that sometimes whispers to me. I am doing this today.

I hope you guys are doing good. It is the February  already. This year is running the good race. January was good and I pray February be better. We are having better weather now minus the heavy snow. Maybe I don't mind the snow when it is fresh, it is after it turns to sleet that I have a problem * like most people I guess* I fell down twice last month. Once I slipped on sleet as I got out of the car and my son was asking me what I was doing on the ground. I didnt know whether to cry or just laugh it off. Where is summer o?

I was listening to a podcast the other day and I heard that according to a recent study carried out by the University of California, Berkeley, It is good to gossip. We used to sing this song growing up; Gossip gossip evil thing, much unhappiness it brings; If you can't say something nice, don't talk at all is my advice. According to this study,engaging in pro-social gossip is beneficial. Not all gossip is idle chatter, sometimes if you are trying to warn someone about dishonest or untrustworthy people that translates to something good, so even though it is termed as gossip, it is good gossip.  You can find the report here.You know how sometimes you have this juicy gist and you can't just wait to share it with someone, but when you think it would be gossiping you just keep it to  yourself or you put it down in your journal and forget about it. But no matter how bad a rap gossip has gathered, people still indulge.The tabloids still make good sales . So do you gossip or will you?

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Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!!!!

I know this is like the 5th day of the year, but I will still say it. Happy New Year! I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays as much as I did.

My sister asked me yesterday what my goals  for the new year will be, I told her I had not set any goals yet. She was shocked cos I am the to-do list kind of person. I just love to tick things off, so she just assumed that I would have my goals set before the ball dropped. As I write, I still haven't really thought of what I would like to achieve this year, but I will like it to be a year of passion and purpose. Having a positive attitude is also important and instead of obsessing and sometimes being disappointed about where I am right now in my life, I should be optimistic about where I am going .

May 2013 be good for us all.


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Black 14th

The events of the weekend was really emotionally draining for me. Yes, I am aware that bad things happen, that there are evil people in the world, but I am still unable to wrap my head around the senselessness of what happened in Newtown Connecticut on Friday. Beautiful, innocent children whose only care in the world was to eat, sleep and play and wonder at what Santa was going to bring for them this Christmas, only to have their lives snuffed out of them. It is just incomprehensible.

I can totally relate with people moving to quiet neighborhoods that are supposedly crime free to raise their families and this was one of those kind of neighborhoods.My children were going to school in a different county from where we lived before because of the safe environment. With this shooting, we are reminded that nowhere is safe. . This could have happened to anyone. The parents can't be blamed like in the Aurora shooting at the cinema hall. This is school; School is supposed to be safe.


Not everyone walking on the streets is sane. There are many borderline mentally ill people. Many of them have lived like this even as children and nobody is doing anything about it. Rather they are being pumped with all sorts of drugs that might or might not help. I know a woman whose foster kids ages 9-14 years, throw unreasonable tantrums, threaten her and use all sorts vulgar words to her.  They are also very quick to tell her this is America and they know their rights.Initially I felt they were just an unruly bunch. But now I see that they are mentally ill and even though they had their good days when they behaved well, they also had these spurts of bad behavior that even got more frequent with all the medication they received. I don't know how they can be helped what I know is that many people are sick out there and they need help before it gets out of hand.


My heart goes out to the families and the people of Newtown Connecticut. May the souls of the people who were killed in the shooting rest in peace and may God grant their families and community the fortitude to bear the loss.


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Hurricane Sandy

A big thank you to all those who left comments on my last post.  Thanks for the warm reception back. I appreciate it. It sure feels good to be back.

Over the weekend, hurricane sandy was all over the news. What to expect before, during and after it makes landfall, what to do, how to prepare, measures that are being taken to reduce the impact etc. Everything was so frightening; More frightening was the fact that it was going to hit the most populated part of the US. It was comforting to know that states on the path of this superstorm were actually preparing/prepared for the storm. This got me thinking about my country Nigeria and the way we handle disasters. We are rarely prepared for anything. I bet those places hit by the recent floods didnt even know they were going to have rains of that magnitude. Yet, all we know how to do is to form committees and create avenues for people to "chop" money to the detriment of the citizens.

Hurricane Sandy has made landfall and left a lot destruction in its wake. A lot of money will be lost. Many people will have to start over. My heart just goes out to them and I can just imagine what they are going through.  Apart from the strong winds and light rain, things were quite sane here, so the little ones found it difficult to understand why they couldn't go to school, even though it was a school day.

I read an article on Punch news online about Lagos state raising alarm over the ripple effect of the hurricane on the coastal areas of the state. The commissioner for waterfront development and infrastructure, Mr. Oniru, made his statements based on past experience, records and study of past happenings. Everything he said was based on assumption as he wasn't even sure and the only advise he had for people was that they should be vigilant.Is it that we don't have meteorologist who can give something more concrete? This is Nigeria I am talking about.

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Breast cancer awareness.....

Phew! I didn't know that it would take this long for me to settle down and create time for blogging again. Back to school hasn't been easy for me, but my children seem to have adapted so well. While I still drag myself off the bed every morning, sleep walk to get everyone ready, my daughter is bursting with energy, ready to hit the new day. I guess Pre-K is so much fun. I wish I had that kind of energy. A big thank you to all who checked on me while I was away, I appreciate you all. Thanks to the new followers of my blog, though I wasn't here to put up anything, they still had hope that I would come one day. Today is that day. Thank you. So many things things happened while I was away, blog rounds coming up so I can catch up. It sure feels good to be here again.

This year is almost winding down and there is still so much we can do as regards our goals for 2012 before we usher in 2013. September flew by and October is following in its wake. Every day is a new opportunity to do that thing that we have been planning to do; to get closer to God, to be physically fit, to read that book, to write that book, to help that neighbor, to mentor that child.... the list is endless. There is no time to wallow at the setbacks, as long as we have life, then a positive attitude is what we should have.

There are many awareness programs lined up for October like Disability awareness, Head Start  awareness, National Cyber Security awareness, breast cancer awareness, bullying etc.
I remember my first encounter with breast cancer. It was an elderly friend our family. All my young ears heard was that she fell ill and they had to cut off her breasts and for a while she had  a skin hair cut. Everything was hush-hush, Naija style. The next time I saw the lady, I was looking at her chest to see if she still had breasts. I guess that was why it was hush so people like me won't go looking at her and making her feel uncomfortable. Last week sunday, I joined a walk to raise money for breast cancer. Just seeing the survivors and hearing their stories with their positive attitude, was a lesson for me. These people have gone through so much and they still had the courage to smile, they mustered the strength to come out and create awareness so people will also not fall victim. That is selflessness right there.

Early detection is very important . Gone are those days when they said, it was a disease for old women, of course their risk is higher, but these days, young people are also getting it. Ladies, know, love and take care of your breasts. Try to do the monthly check and look out for anything that is not normal, be it lumpy mass in the breast or armpit,swelling,irritation or dimpling of the breast skin, redness of the nipple, nipple discharge which isn't breast milk, change in size or shape, anything. Know what they look and feel like. For those over 40, talk to your doctor about a screening mammogram. Please this is very important. Just as we tell friends to do kegels, please also tell them to do the breast check because early detection can save someone's life.

It is also good to know ones family history of breast cancer. If you have a family member with breast cancer, talking to your doctor on how you can lower the risk would be helpful. You can also lower the risk of breast cancer by controlling your weight and regular exercise.

 
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.....On to blog rounds