Hello everyone,
First off I will like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a wonderful 2012. I hope you guys had fun and spent time with family, friends and loved ones. Christmas was okay for me too. I missed attending midnight mass as we normally do to usher in the Christmas. The parish we attend here had their Christmas eve vigil mass at 4pm. There is one thing I didnt miss though; the firecrackers or as we called it, "Banger" or "knock-out". I dreaded the season because of those things. They will not allow you walk on road without throwing it at you; if you choose to stay indoors, they will not allow you rest with all the noise. People having "Banger battles" and disturbing the peace of the neighborhood. They say they are just enjoying themselves and relaxing. I wonder how you can relax with all that loud ra-ta-tat noise? Maybe I am just a Grinch.
A very huge thank you to all those who took out time to read and comment on my last post. I appreciate all the words of advice and encouragement. I totally agree with all the comments regarding what I want to do with my blog. This is my space and I am allowed to administer as I wish. For my new followers, thank you for joining my cruise.
2011 is fast drawing to a close and I am sure most people are reviewing the year and making resolutions for the coming year. I am not really a New Year resolution person. I can't remember the last time I made a list of things I would like to achieve at the beginning of the year. However, I am a huge believer in fresh starts, taking time to refocus and prioritize. I make weekly, monthly goals * I just love to tick off when I achieve something*. That said, 2012 might be different as I see myself setting goals for the new year because it is the new year.
So far, I have 3 things on my list. The first on the list is Quality Time. Spending quality time with my family without the distraction of T.V, smart-phones, books etc. Lately I realized I got another appendage attached to my hand named my smart-phone. I am always fiddling with it. It got so bad one day, my daughter after asking for something more than once and i just said okay and not giving her what she wanted as i didn't even hear her, she took the phone and i felt like a teenager being scolded by her mom. She also banned my phone from her tea parties. *She said I am supposed to use my hands to hold the tea cup and eat the imaginary cake *So for the coming year, I will take at least 30minutes to just be with my family. Just talking and enjoying the company.Quality time will also extend to myself. I will ensure I take my alone times too.
Exercise is also on my list. I didn't do too good in this area the past couple of months and with the chop-and- quench attitude of the holidays, exercising is on my mind. As I stuff myself with every delicious morsel, I am thinking of my bumbum..... So for a start I will put in 20minutes then build up from there. The last thing on my list is Sleep. Most days I wake up not refreshed and then have to rush into the day. I have been living on 5hr energy drink. I am sure those things have their side effects but no one is saying now. So in the new year, I plan to have at least 6-7hrs of sleep every night. That means shifting the kids bedtime an hour earlier.
Anyone with New Year resolutions and plans on how to meet them?
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Who is faster
Hi friends,
Happy new month to everyone. This is the last month in 2011 and I am a believer that something can still be achieved this year. it is not over till it is over and God's willing we will all usher in 2012.
Since I started writing here, I have been thinking of the path I want this blog to follow. I know it is my space and can write whatever i like here but still feel like should have a niche. What do you guys think? I find myself wanting to write about parenting, relationships, general topics etc. I guess would figure that out lter.
Is it really true that girls are faster than boys in the early years developments or it is just something that we have read and after a long time believe? I have a boy and a girl. My daughter stopped breastfeeding on her own at 5months, I came back from work one day and she just refused to nurse. She favored her bottle. At that time, I was sad cos I felt like she didn't need me anymore. Fastword to a year later, my son cannot get enough of that stuff. I stopped breastfeeding him at 15months and that was cos my hubs intervened. Potty training, the li'l Miss was potty trained at 2. Brume is still in pull-ups. He refuses to use the potty at 26months. Just this morning when I laid out his clothes minus his Pull-up. He said "mam no chu-chu * the underwear had a train on it* If I leave that boy he will still be in diapers at 5. Maybe I overindulge him, I am now on 'Operation Pottytrain Brume before 2012'. So I ask are girls faster than boys?
.
Happy new month to everyone. This is the last month in 2011 and I am a believer that something can still be achieved this year. it is not over till it is over and God's willing we will all usher in 2012.
Since I started writing here, I have been thinking of the path I want this blog to follow. I know it is my space and can write whatever i like here but still feel like should have a niche. What do you guys think? I find myself wanting to write about parenting, relationships, general topics etc. I guess would figure that out lter.
Is it really true that girls are faster than boys in the early years developments or it is just something that we have read and after a long time believe? I have a boy and a girl. My daughter stopped breastfeeding on her own at 5months, I came back from work one day and she just refused to nurse. She favored her bottle. At that time, I was sad cos I felt like she didn't need me anymore. Fastword to a year later, my son cannot get enough of that stuff. I stopped breastfeeding him at 15months and that was cos my hubs intervened. Potty training, the li'l Miss was potty trained at 2. Brume is still in pull-ups. He refuses to use the potty at 26months. Just this morning when I laid out his clothes minus his Pull-up. He said "mam no chu-chu * the underwear had a train on it* If I leave that boy he will still be in diapers at 5. Maybe I overindulge him, I am now on 'Operation Pottytrain Brume before 2012'. So I ask are girls faster than boys?
.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Mom, no hitting
Hi guys, it has been a while I wrote something on here. Thanks to @9ja-great and Che who sent me birthday wishes on my day. My birthday had one of the coolest dates this year 111111. Another cool date is 91011 and another cool date is 20112011. Why am I even talking about dates sef? I hope everyone is doing well. For those facing any kind of challenge, be calm, this too shall pass.
I remember growing up and whenever anyone be it sisters or friends beat me, and I came back crying, my folks always asked why I was crying instead of beating my own back. Ofcourse most times, scratch that, I never beat my own back. When it got too much I just stayed out of the way of anyone I felt might use their fist on me. I didn't think my folks did any wrong by saying what they did, cos that was the time.
Now I have kids and we have a "no-hitting" rule at our house. You don't hit people and if you are hit, you say no hitting and report whoever hit to mom or dad. It has worked so far. Don't get me wrong, they still hit one another but they know it is wrong. One day, I had had enough of the reports of "mom, brume hit me", "mom K hit me". So when I heard another report, I just told my daughter, "go hit your own back". She told me No. No hitting, hitting is bad. I was taken aback cos a part of me felt like I was raising kids who only use their words and not their fist. I was worried that people might take them for granted and want to bully them.*just like I was bullied*. I was happy though that they were listening and trying to practise whatever I teach them. My fear now is that people might call them weaklings. Sometimes our people respect aggressiveness. My MIL can not stop regaling tales of how young Onos*the hubs* used to show people that offended him. What do you guys think? Should children be thought how to fight and defend themselves instead.My kids are under 4years, am I just being a worry wart?
Have a great day.
I remember growing up and whenever anyone be it sisters or friends beat me, and I came back crying, my folks always asked why I was crying instead of beating my own back. Ofcourse most times, scratch that, I never beat my own back. When it got too much I just stayed out of the way of anyone I felt might use their fist on me. I didn't think my folks did any wrong by saying what they did, cos that was the time.
Now I have kids and we have a "no-hitting" rule at our house. You don't hit people and if you are hit, you say no hitting and report whoever hit to mom or dad. It has worked so far. Don't get me wrong, they still hit one another but they know it is wrong. One day, I had had enough of the reports of "mom, brume hit me", "mom K hit me". So when I heard another report, I just told my daughter, "go hit your own back". She told me No. No hitting, hitting is bad. I was taken aback cos a part of me felt like I was raising kids who only use their words and not their fist. I was worried that people might take them for granted and want to bully them.*just like I was bullied*. I was happy though that they were listening and trying to practise whatever I teach them. My fear now is that people might call them weaklings. Sometimes our people respect aggressiveness. My MIL can not stop regaling tales of how young Onos*the hubs* used to show people that offended him. What do you guys think? Should children be thought how to fight and defend themselves instead.My kids are under 4years, am I just being a worry wart?
Have a great day.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Hi people,
Hope everyone is enjoying the week so far. The year is speeding by or is it just me? It felt like just yesterday I was happy that it was friday and it is mid-week already. Are u one of those people who are already taking stock, looking at what you can still achieve before the year ends? Anybody? Oohkay. I know you guys are just like me. :-) Though I am not one to make new year resolutions, I have goals for the day, week, month etc. I don't know if that is more tasking cos if I don't do something that was scheduled for one day, it automatically joins the activities of the following day. This makes some days overwhelming.
Lately I have been thinking about social media, technology and its effects. We can all say that there are huge benefits in the social networks. Connecting with people you haven't seen in a long while and making new friends is just at the tip of our thumbs. Gossip is also easily accessed. But after reading an excerpt from a newspaper article where men were lamenting the loss of their wives, I started looking at it in a different light. Cos of technology, you don't have to go out of your house to have an affair. Men and Women are both guilty* I don't agree that it is only men losing wives, even some women are losing husbands*. These days, we all want to stay connected. Gone are the days when you go out and chat with someone while waiting, everyone is tuned to their phones, tapping, smiling and LOLing away. Even when you make a new contact, some people find it difficult to chat face to face, instead they are asking for your pin or number. I am also guilty of texting instead of calling. Anyways that is a different story.
You know how we have people we chat with on a regular basis, people on our bb contact list who we exchange fun, spiritual and sometimes lewd forwarded messages with. Sometimes things develop. I have heard of people getting close to the people on the otherside of the smartphone just cos they feel either their partners are not as understanding as the guy or gal they exchange IMs with. Ofcourse they forget that writing and speaking are different. Just like reading and hearing is diiferent.That person will only share what they want you to know and behave or comment in ways they know you want to hear. I used to have a friend who used to be a coursemate during my Uni days. He was just one of those guys in class that you shared more than a hi with but nothing heavy. Now this guy is one of my bb contacts. We chat sometimes till he started rapping nonsense. He would make suggestive comments and once he shared his sexual fantasy with me in the center of it. I told him I don't roll that way. He said I shouldn't be uptight everyone is doing it. I told him I wasn't everyone and don't appreciate such comments. He apologized promised not to do it again. The next time he tried it, I didn't even respond, I went straight to my 'del' button *thank God it works* and deleted him from my list. Someone said that was too harsh I should have just ignored him, I said no way. So people where do you draw the line.
Hope everyone is enjoying the week so far. The year is speeding by or is it just me? It felt like just yesterday I was happy that it was friday and it is mid-week already. Are u one of those people who are already taking stock, looking at what you can still achieve before the year ends? Anybody? Oohkay. I know you guys are just like me. :-) Though I am not one to make new year resolutions, I have goals for the day, week, month etc. I don't know if that is more tasking cos if I don't do something that was scheduled for one day, it automatically joins the activities of the following day. This makes some days overwhelming.
Lately I have been thinking about social media, technology and its effects. We can all say that there are huge benefits in the social networks. Connecting with people you haven't seen in a long while and making new friends is just at the tip of our thumbs. Gossip is also easily accessed. But after reading an excerpt from a newspaper article where men were lamenting the loss of their wives, I started looking at it in a different light. Cos of technology, you don't have to go out of your house to have an affair. Men and Women are both guilty* I don't agree that it is only men losing wives, even some women are losing husbands*. These days, we all want to stay connected. Gone are the days when you go out and chat with someone while waiting, everyone is tuned to their phones, tapping, smiling and LOLing away. Even when you make a new contact, some people find it difficult to chat face to face, instead they are asking for your pin or number. I am also guilty of texting instead of calling. Anyways that is a different story.
You know how we have people we chat with on a regular basis, people on our bb contact list who we exchange fun, spiritual and sometimes lewd forwarded messages with. Sometimes things develop. I have heard of people getting close to the people on the otherside of the smartphone just cos they feel either their partners are not as understanding as the guy or gal they exchange IMs with. Ofcourse they forget that writing and speaking are different. Just like reading and hearing is diiferent.That person will only share what they want you to know and behave or comment in ways they know you want to hear. I used to have a friend who used to be a coursemate during my Uni days. He was just one of those guys in class that you shared more than a hi with but nothing heavy. Now this guy is one of my bb contacts. We chat sometimes till he started rapping nonsense. He would make suggestive comments and once he shared his sexual fantasy with me in the center of it. I told him I don't roll that way. He said I shouldn't be uptight everyone is doing it. I told him I wasn't everyone and don't appreciate such comments. He apologized promised not to do it again. The next time he tried it, I didn't even respond, I went straight to my 'del' button *thank God it works* and deleted him from my list. Someone said that was too harsh I should have just ignored him, I said no way. So people where do you draw the line.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Did she say she eloped?
When I was responding to my versatile blog award, I mentioned that I eloped to get married. I was quite happy nobody commented on that till Ginger with her eagle eye saw it and asked for the gist. It isn't much of a gist either but I promised to tell it.
Anyways, I met my husband at my place of work. He came to do a survey on branches from our head office * yes we both worked at the same bank*. We were attracted to one another and he was easy on the eyes. He was transferred to work at my branch and then I got to know him better. We were both sure we wouldn't date each other cos who dated their colleagues? The tension would be too much right? We became quick then great friends. I knew he was especially fond of me and though I liked him a little too much I was just thinking I didn't want to date a fellow colleague and one in the same office with me. But we connected at a level that people felt something was going on.
He was then selected for a bank project and was transferred to a different branch outside of our town. The night he was to leave he came to my house and after a lot of beating about the bush, he said, he wouldn't like to be the guy who saw a good thing and then allowed it to slip away from him because he thought he had time; there and then, he proposed to me and said i could give my answer anytime, he just wanted me to know that was how he felt. I jokingly told him that wasn't how it was done, even if I wanted to say yes, where was my ring? He promised to do it right. I knew him well enough, my family knew him *my mom used to call him my brother*, i knew his folks and siblings but I wanted to pray about it.
To cut a long story short, we started dating and the next time he proposed * with a ring this time*, I said yes. We used to discuss the kind of wedding we would like to have. We both wanted something simple but our families wanted something more elaborate. He was on vacation and I had already planned to spend a weekend with him, so he asked if I was ready to do this our own way, while we waited for the BIG wedding. I told him yes. In a small ceremony that he had organized, with a few witnesses, we exchanged our vows and a bible and became man and wife. After that weekend, I went back home and acted like nothing happened. We had our wedding later that year in December.
Six years and 2 kids later, I am happy that I had a wedding for me. For us, we celebrate our wedding anniversary in April but every other person congratulates us in December.
PS: If my hubs should read this he will say I didn't tell the story well. Oh well, he is the story teller in our family. :-)
Anyways, I met my husband at my place of work. He came to do a survey on branches from our head office * yes we both worked at the same bank*. We were attracted to one another and he was easy on the eyes. He was transferred to work at my branch and then I got to know him better. We were both sure we wouldn't date each other cos who dated their colleagues? The tension would be too much right? We became quick then great friends. I knew he was especially fond of me and though I liked him a little too much I was just thinking I didn't want to date a fellow colleague and one in the same office with me. But we connected at a level that people felt something was going on.
He was then selected for a bank project and was transferred to a different branch outside of our town. The night he was to leave he came to my house and after a lot of beating about the bush, he said, he wouldn't like to be the guy who saw a good thing and then allowed it to slip away from him because he thought he had time; there and then, he proposed to me and said i could give my answer anytime, he just wanted me to know that was how he felt. I jokingly told him that wasn't how it was done, even if I wanted to say yes, where was my ring? He promised to do it right. I knew him well enough, my family knew him *my mom used to call him my brother*, i knew his folks and siblings but I wanted to pray about it.
To cut a long story short, we started dating and the next time he proposed * with a ring this time*, I said yes. We used to discuss the kind of wedding we would like to have. We both wanted something simple but our families wanted something more elaborate. He was on vacation and I had already planned to spend a weekend with him, so he asked if I was ready to do this our own way, while we waited for the BIG wedding. I told him yes. In a small ceremony that he had organized, with a few witnesses, we exchanged our vows and a bible and became man and wife. After that weekend, I went back home and acted like nothing happened. We had our wedding later that year in December.
Six years and 2 kids later, I am happy that I had a wedding for me. For us, we celebrate our wedding anniversary in April but every other person congratulates us in December.
PS: If my hubs should read this he will say I didn't tell the story well. Oh well, he is the story teller in our family. :-)
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Domestic Violence
Grandma Procrastination was really listening when I said I was going to post something the very next day and she made sure I didn't * that's me passing the blame for something i should have done that I didn't do.* Emotional affairs still coming up but I would like to talk about domestic violence today.
Tega did a registry wedding with her boyfriend, Ogagan, so she would be posted to Lagos state for her NYSC. So everyone was waiting for them to officially wed, maybe traditional or church later where they would invite people and be known as a married couple. Three years after NYSC, no wedding . So people, started asking Tega what the problem was; did she have a change of mind? She said everything was fine. They will do it one day. Two years after that, they still are not married, if you ask Ogagan, he will say he is ready; Tega says Ogagan wants to finish his MBA first before they settle down. Really it is nobodys business if they decide to do the traditional or whatever people want them to do, but you know people now. They were always asking. Some days Tega comes to work with a bruises on her body and she blames it on okada accidents. Nobody read anything to it cos she seemed happy and Ogagan also seemed to be the doting boyfriend/husband. No one knew that she was a punching bag at night. No one knew that Ogagan would go through her phone for text messages or calls from guys that he doesn't know and then make sure she explains to his satisfaction *which she doesnt do most times and he has already made up his mind to act the beast* Everyone heard about that bank staff whose husband butchered her and even Tega said the girl should have left before it got that bad.
People handle challenges in different ways. Some people write about it, Some people just plain write about anything, some people might have a confidante who they talk to. Tega got very close to one guy at work and she told him what she was going through. She enjoyed his company and though they didnt have any physical intimacy, they shared sexual fantasies. The guy wants her to leave Ogagan to save her life. She is scared cos she thinks Ogagan will fulfill his threat and haunt her if she dares leave him. Her family says she should stick it out cos maybe she is the cause of the beatings and you know men would always be men *SMH*
Now I ask, is it worth it marrying someone just to beat the NYSC system and remain in a particular state? Why would a woman stay with a man who thinks he is Sugar Ray and can box her at anytime? *I remember a friend I had once who in mirth will hit me on the back, though it wasn't painful o, I didn't wait to see what he would do if he is upset.* Why would society permit men to be crude all in the name that men will be men? Only men without self control and discipline hit women. What do you guys think?
Tega did a registry wedding with her boyfriend, Ogagan, so she would be posted to Lagos state for her NYSC. So everyone was waiting for them to officially wed, maybe traditional or church later where they would invite people and be known as a married couple. Three years after NYSC, no wedding . So people, started asking Tega what the problem was; did she have a change of mind? She said everything was fine. They will do it one day. Two years after that, they still are not married, if you ask Ogagan, he will say he is ready; Tega says Ogagan wants to finish his MBA first before they settle down. Really it is nobodys business if they decide to do the traditional or whatever people want them to do, but you know people now. They were always asking. Some days Tega comes to work with a bruises on her body and she blames it on okada accidents. Nobody read anything to it cos she seemed happy and Ogagan also seemed to be the doting boyfriend/husband. No one knew that she was a punching bag at night. No one knew that Ogagan would go through her phone for text messages or calls from guys that he doesn't know and then make sure she explains to his satisfaction *which she doesnt do most times and he has already made up his mind to act the beast* Everyone heard about that bank staff whose husband butchered her and even Tega said the girl should have left before it got that bad.
People handle challenges in different ways. Some people write about it, Some people just plain write about anything, some people might have a confidante who they talk to. Tega got very close to one guy at work and she told him what she was going through. She enjoyed his company and though they didnt have any physical intimacy, they shared sexual fantasies. The guy wants her to leave Ogagan to save her life. She is scared cos she thinks Ogagan will fulfill his threat and haunt her if she dares leave him. Her family says she should stick it out cos maybe she is the cause of the beatings and you know men would always be men *SMH*
Now I ask, is it worth it marrying someone just to beat the NYSC system and remain in a particular state? Why would a woman stay with a man who thinks he is Sugar Ray and can box her at anytime? *I remember a friend I had once who in mirth will hit me on the back, though it wasn't painful o, I didn't wait to see what he would do if he is upset.* Why would society permit men to be crude all in the name that men will be men? Only men without self control and discipline hit women. What do you guys think?
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Blog Awards
Hi all,
I got a couple of awards *my very first awards* while I was away. *Thank you, thank you* Though I came on here today to do a post on emotional affairs, I decided to respond to those awards first.
I was awarded the "One Lovely Blog" award by mikesfrequency.blogspot.com
and "Versatile blogger by @9ja great.blogspot.com. Since the rules to these awards are similar, please grant me permission to fuse them into one. I want to thank you guys for thinking me worthy of these awards. I really appreciate it.
Rules: One Lovely Blog and Versatile blog
Link back to the person who gave you the award
Complete the form below
Tell seven random things about yourself
Nominate 15 bloggers
Favorite color: I love bright colors.
Favorite song: Depends but right now That Stupid song by Bez cracks me up with nostalgia
Favorite dessert: Apple Crisp
What pisses you off?: Bullies and rude people
When you are upset you: Listen to music, Take a walk.
Your favorite pet: Does my blackberry count?
Black or white?: Both?
Your biggest fear: Not achieving my purpose in this life
Everyday attitude: Treat others the way I want to be treated
Your best feature: My body
What is perfection?: God
Guilty pleasure: Shopping
7 Random things about myself:
I always see good in people.
Music makes me happy
Grandma Procastinator
I love children shows
I eloped
I have 2 kids
I love to read out loud in a quiet room
I got a couple of awards *my very first awards* while I was away. *Thank you, thank you* Though I came on here today to do a post on emotional affairs, I decided to respond to those awards first.
I was awarded the "One Lovely Blog" award by mikesfrequency.blogspot.com
and "Versatile blogger by @9ja great.blogspot.com. Since the rules to these awards are similar, please grant me permission to fuse them into one. I want to thank you guys for thinking me worthy of these awards. I really appreciate it.
Rules: One Lovely Blog and Versatile blog
Link back to the person who gave you the award
Complete the form below
Tell seven random things about yourself
Nominate 15 bloggers
Favorite color: I love bright colors.
Favorite song: Depends but right now That Stupid song by Bez cracks me up with nostalgia
Favorite dessert: Apple Crisp
What pisses you off?: Bullies and rude people
When you are upset you: Listen to music, Take a walk.
Your favorite pet: Does my blackberry count?
Black or white?: Both?
Your biggest fear: Not achieving my purpose in this life
Everyday attitude: Treat others the way I want to be treated
Your best feature: My body
What is perfection?: God
Guilty pleasure: Shopping
7 Random things about myself:
I always see good in people.
Music makes me happy
Grandma Procastinator
I love children shows
I eloped
I have 2 kids
I love to read out loud in a quiet room
Once again, I thank a 9-ja great and Mike for the awards. I don't know how to link them to my post * covers face in shame*. As I have not discovered any new blogs lately, I give this award to all who like to play.
I have gist on emotional affairs that I want to share and hear your opinions. I will post that tomorrow* I hope you heard that grandma procastinator*
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